Very sick kids

I read an article this morning that cited a rise in narcissism among teenagers. Really??? Interestingly researchers place the blame on coddling parents that repeatedly tell their children that they are "special" and that "they can do anything they want". Both of these are double-edged swords. Yes, to most parents their child is special – but should their child go through life convinced they are any more or less "special" than any other child? These are the seeds of inequality. The 2nd phrase can mean that a child, should they put their mind to it and work hard, can ACHIEVE anything they want. However the alternate context suggests that a child is ENTITLED to do anything they want – which is just plain wrong.

I have a low tolerance for spoiled, narcissistic kids who think the world owes them something, for a couple of reasons. In July of 2005 I spent a week in Voi, Kenya – a poverty stricken region in Africa. I met children who were dying of AIDS, children who were orphans of AIDS, children who were sick with Malaria and slept on the ground in a hut made of mud and sticks. That's all I'll say about that journey for now, there's far too much of it to cover in a single blog.

The other reason for my intolerance of spoiled brats is this. Each year in the Spring our group of radio stations undertakes a 3 day Radiothon in support of Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children. Part of my job is to record interviews with families whose children have spent considerable time at Sick Kids, and often the children are included in the interviews. I spent today meeting the parents of young children (2 or 3 years old on average) and recording their stories. Stories of newborns suffering heart attacks. Stories of kids born with rare forms of cancer. Stories of kids suffering multiple strokes. Stories of kids fighting for their lives while diseases with meaningless names ravaged their organs. The day finished with a father calmly, almost serenely telling the story of his daughter who was born with an incurable form of cancer and died at just 5 months of age. When I spoke to him following the interview he told me that at his daughter's "celebration" (funeral) they played KD Lang singing Leonard Cohen's beautiful "Hallelujah". I'll never hear this song in the same way.

These parents were not angry or bitter or resentful, though they had reason to be. They were happy in a way that one is happy only when one has survived the near loss of their own flesh and blood. Their children (I met 3 of them) smiled like it was the happiest day of their lives. The oldest of them, a 15 year old girl with Rhys Syndrome, had spent 8 days in a coma. All she wants now is to live a normal life. There was a calmness and a clarity about here that belied her age. And of course all of them, to their final breath, expressed their unconditional gratitude to Toronto's Sick Kids Hospital for giving their children their lives back.

So all you precocious "I can do whatever I want" narcissistic Paris-sites, how many of you would trade that new iPod, that new Playstation, computer, car, etc etc etc for a few rounds of chemo, a couple of open heart surgeries, a coma, and a lifetime of outpatient care?

Grace.