Gas pains pt I

Excuses the oil companies use to raise the price of gas;

- the sun was in our eyes
- a tanker truck in Wyoming got a flat on the way to a refinery
- there might be a flood/hurricane/tornado/drought/plague of locusts/famine somewhere in the world, and this will affect oil prices; and even if there isn’t the very thought of it gives us the willies, so this will affect oil prices
- there’s not enough oil
- there’s too much oil
- we think there’s going to be too much oil at some point, or possibly not enough
- our feet hurt
- hey, a guy/girl has to eat
- there was a well fire on a platform off the coast of Bora Bora, and even though we don’t buy our oil from Bora Bora, this will still affect the price of oil
- an elk tripped over the Alaskan pipeline and, well, you know…
- someone saw the ghost of Saddam Hussein pissing in an oil well – hey, can’t sell that batch
- someone threw sand in the Alberta oil sands – can’t sell contaminated oil
- rock, paper, scissors
- papa needs a brand new bag
- hey, someone’s gotta pay for those “On The Go” stores, might as well be you
- Texas isn’t as big as we originally thought, and this will affect the price of oil
- We found a hole in one of the barrels
- The neighbour’s dog “Son of Sammy” spoke to us – “ruff ruff ruff, raise the price of oil”
- Some kids poured a bag of sugar into the North Sea and it got into all the offshore wells
- Daylight’s comin’ and I wanta go home