Perspective

Several years ago I was driving through downtown Toronto towards the highway in the early evening of Hallowe’en. As I neared my ramp I saw, on the sidewalk adjacent to the St Lawrence Market, a woman in a wheelchair with a small child in her lap. The child was dressed in a Hallowe’en costume, and the mother was taking her trick or treating, door to door in a wheelchair. I didn’t know whether to smile or cry.

I believe that every major experience in your life shapes the person you become, mentally and physiologically. That may sound really obvious, but a lot of people remain in stoic denial of life’s shifting reality. These people usually die in factory accidents.

One of my favourite bands, Tool, is playing my hometown July 9th, and I fully intend to be there. Their last album “10,000 Days” has been out for close to a year now. The title refers to the number of days singer Maynard Keenan’s mother spent in a wheelchair (approximately 27 years), the result of a stroke. This happened when he was around 11 years old.

Imagine growing up watching your mother imprisoned in her own body for reasons you can’t begin to understand, nevermind accept. Naturally, in the absence of a medical explanation you’re going to look for someone or something to blame. Maynard blamed God. The irony is that before AND after her stroke, his mother remained devoutly faithful to God, Christianity and the church. Maynard’s lyrics, written for both Tool and side-project A Perfect Circle, testify to his frustration at not being able to resolve this dichotomy, much as you or I would find it difficult to forgive someone for murdering a family member.

Keenan’s most powerful outrage came in the song “Judith” from the first Perfect Circle album “Mers De Nom” (Judith Marie was his mother’s name) In the song’s chorus he screams “F*** your God”. Not much doubt there.

Maynard Keenan’s mother passed away in 2003. Two tracks on “10,000 Days” (“Wings For Marie” and the title track) narrate both the struggle and the spiritual liberation of letting her go,


Who could deny you were the one who illuminated
your little piece of the divine

This little light of mine, a gift you passed onto me,
I'm gonna let it shine,
to guide you safely on your way

Your way home...

Ohh, what are they gonna do when the lights go down
without you to guide them all to Zion?
What are they gonna do when the rivers overrun
other than tremble incessantly?

High is the way
but our eyes are upon the ground.
You are the light and the way
They'll only read about

I only pray heaven knows
When to lift you out

10000 days in the fire is long enough.
You're going home...

You're the only one who can hold your head up high,
Shake your fist at the gates saying,
"I have come home now!

Fetch me the spirit, the son and the father,
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.

It's time now!
My time now!
Give me my
Give me my wings”

You are the light, the way,that they will only read about

Set as I am in my ways and my arrogance
Burden of proof tossed upon non-believers.
You were my witness, my eyes, my evidence,
Judith Marie, unconditional one.

Daylight dims leaving cold fluorescence.
Difficult to see you in this light.
Please forgive this bold suggestion:
Should you see your maker's face tonight
Look him in the eye
Look him in the eye and tell him
I never lived a lie, never took a life,
But surely saved one
Hallelujah,
It's time for you to bring me home.

A far cry from “F*** your God”, this song speaks volumes about the impact a loved one’s personal journey can eventually have on your own life.

Not everyone’s taste, but there’s no denying that Tool is a band that has remained unflinchingly honest and true to themselves and their art.