Bank fees

We received a notice in the mail the other day from our dear friends at TD Canada Trust. I used to like Canada Trust, until they merged with TD, canned a lot of tellers, and started messing things up on a somewhat regular basis – all the while telling me that "banking CAN be this comfortable". Hell, I've had prostate exams that were more comfortable than banking experiences, but I digress, and you might be eating as you read this, so onwards.

This corporate love letter was a schedule of bank fee increases, to take effect in May. I'm going to my local ATM and withdrawing enough cash to buy TD Canada Trust a clue, because they clearly missed the memo. Let's re-cap;

THE GENERAL PUBLIC IS EXTREMELY PISSED OFF ABOUT BANKS FEES…you knuckleheads.

When corporations, especially banks, reach a certain size they lose touch with reality, then try to spin it with tv commercials that emphasize how "small and personable" they really are. Note to banks: I don't care how early you open in the morning, you're closed when I get into work at 6:30AM; and I don't care how late in the evening you stay open cuzzzz I'm not gonna stand in line like a hamster waiting for a biscuit (if that's what hamsters eat, I dunno, mine always croaked prior to feeding time). What I care about is that you are competent and secure enough to maintain my accounts, and that you don't rip me off. Sometimes I doubt the former, most times I don't doubt the latter. I'm not a financial wizard, but I do understand the basic premise of banking. By putting my money into a "savings" account I am effectively loaning the bank my money in exchange for an extremely modest return. However this return is usually negated by "fees" that they charge me for letting me loan them my money. Does this make any sense? In the meantime they earn MILLIONS in annual profits from all the money that WE have loaned them, and I get a T5 that says my taxable annual interest is $60.00. SIXTY DOLLARS, on which I then have to pay income tax!!!

We have governments that are hell bent on protecting us from ourselves, but they don't have the balls to put a leash on these thieving corporate bastahds. No, a dollar-fifty won't break the piggy bank, but it's MY dollar-fifty dammit!