A mean feat

I have to admit that I’ve never understood the motivation behind the act of being mean to people. Seriously, being mean is a malicious action that requires effort, and there’s neither goodwill nor personal satisfaction involved. I’m not a psychologist but I’m convinced that meanness, like most forms of emotionally “acting out”, stems from insecurity. Meanness especially is some sort of pre-emptive strike ie if I lash out at your for no apparent reason then I am untouchable and therefore cannot be hurt myself. This borders on sociopathic or psychopathic behaviour, which is to say a destructive act without conscience and therefore without remorse.

The next time you read something that fits into the description above, consider the source.

Hot Fuzz...and not so hot...

“Hot Fuzz” is EASILY the funniest movie I’ve seen in the better part of a year. DAMN it was funny. Clever, clever writing, great comic acting and direction, and that all-important quality that can make or break a comedy – impeccable timing.

“Black Snake Moan” on the other hand is the biggest mess of a movie I’ve seen in the better part of a year. This train wreck had no idea where it was going, and took most of 2 hours to not get there. Yeeeeesh.

Like a David Lynch movie, without the movie part…

The other day I was walking up our street and there on someone’s front lawn was a squirrel’s tail without a squirrel attached to it.

How the hell does that THAT happen?

So I turns to the little lady and I says “the neighbourhood’s goin’ ta shit, I tells ya”.

“Hello Cleveland”

In a couple of months time I’m headed to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland with 3 friends who have never been (I was there last Fall). This is meant as a “male bonding” type weekend, to celebrate the November wedding of one of these friends.

I don’t normally like the institutionalization of things that are meant to be anti-institution (like rock and roll) but hell, it’s just a cool place. If I can spend a day looking at Jerry Garcia’s guitars, John Lennon’s handwritten lyrics, and film clips of the greatest performers who ever lived, then it’s a good day.

Angels and demons and paintings, oh my...

I’ve started reading Dan Brown’s “Angels and Demons”, the predecessor to “The DaVinci Code”, which I finished reading a couple of weeks back (I know, I know – I’ve also yet to see Star Wars so shut up…)

So far “Angels and Demons” is SO strikingly similar to “The DaVinci Code” that it’s a bit shameful. Dan Brown has written the same book twice, the difference being that the one about the Holy Grail sold a lot more than the one about the Illuminati. Perhaps if Monty Python regroups and does a film and a musical about the Illuminati, Dan Brown’s “Angels and Demons” will also hit the bestseller list. Personally I’d pay to see a musical about the Illuminati, although I suppose Mozart pretty much covered that one with “The Magic Flute”.

Bastard, I, like, hate you Mozart.

8 weeks and counting

Soon to be ex-Premier of Ontario Dalton McGuinty is spending millions of our dollars that he doesn’t own, to buy votes. But, uhm, you’ll recall last election he did the same thing and then, once in office, said he was just kidding (or something like that).

I think that one year prior to elections all candidates and their families should have to move into a very average house, have their income reduced to that of the average Canadian, lose all their “perks”, and then make do. Seriously, this is the ONLY way they’ll get a taste of the reality we all live with, and this is the ONLY way they’ll understand that in order to make ends meet you have to budget for food, mortgage and car payments, education, health care, home maintenance, taxes, etc etc etc.

Dalton McGuinty has all the economic prowess of a Neanderthal with a Ouija board and a fistful of Canadian Tire money.

Wipe this

To quote Charles Manson “Is it me, or has the world gone crazy?”

Actually I made that up, but best to admit my transgressions before Oprah nails me in a primetime web of lies.

Anyway today’s crazy story comes from some Hollywood sphincter pilot of an actor whose name means nothing to me. Mr Famous Person insists he will not date any woman who does not wipe her ass with moistened tissues, insisting that if she uses dry paper she’s not really clean.

Let’s all say it together – misogynistic controlling future abuser.

Truthfully I don’t know which is more alarming – that he admitted this publicly, or that it made print, albeit on dry paper…

Yogi Berra lives

Last night I was watching a Blue Jays/Kansas City Royals game when the colour commentator remarked that Jays pitcher Jesse Litsch “has a lot of compassion for the game”.

Jesse Litsch feels sorry for baseball? Wow, I guess the game really IS suffering…or maybe you meant “PASSION for the game”

I fear the world is becoming clogged with unnecessary chatter

Discuss

(HA!)

Urrrggghhhhhh

Recently I read that the Ontario Liberal Member of Provincial Parliament for Hamilton east/Stoney Creek served her entire 4 year elected term without actually living in her own riding. Fact is she’s NEVER lived in Stoney Creek, rather she was parachuted in to secure yet another seat for the Liberals.

This practice HAS to be banned. You cannot manage your household without living in your house.

Yet another way the Ontario Liberals are abandoning their constituents in an arrogant show of power.

Misread

This headline graced the front page of last Sunday’s Toronto Star;

MEXICAN REFUGEE REQUESTS SKYROCKET

I would have thought food and shelter would have been a priority, but there ya go.

A couple 'o' movies

I watched a couple of films last weekend, “Zodiac” and “Bobby”, the former about the infamous California serial killer, the latter a fictionalized account of the events leading up to Robert Kennedy’s assassination.

I was hoping to like “Zodiac” and expecting to dislike “Bobby”, but the opposite was true.

“Zodiac” was boggggggged dowwwwwnnnnn innnnn unnnnnecesssarrry deeeeetaaailllllll. Holy shit, did you guys lose the password to your editing app.? Based on the Robert Graysmith book of the same name, this film became more about his obsession with meeting the Zodiac killer than about the case itself, which underlines Hollywoods greatest failings of late – it’s not necessary to dramatize something that already has drama; and if you’re going to create an obsessive character at least make the character interesting, because obsession in and of itself really isn’t that attractive, it’s just a human flaw. The greatest unanswered question in films that center on an obsessed figure is “why”? Rule #1 in character writing; give the character a background, otherwise they’re one-dimensional.

Too bad, given that the Zodiac is (a) an unsolved case (b) has been out of the spotlight for almost 20 years, and (c) is entirely unknown to a current movie-going generation, this could have been a really great film.

“Bobby” on the other hand was a collage of personal vignettes about people whose lives would become forever entwined in the assassination June 5th 1968 at L.A.’s Ambassador Hotel. While the first two thirds of the film frequently indulged in sickly sweet sentimentality interspersed with brilliantly written monologue and acting (like watching Shakespeare directed by Steven Spielberg – no matter how hard the director attempts to smother it, the writing occasionally shines through), the film redeemed itself with the actual assassination scenes and the ensuing fallout.

The most interesting aspect of “Bobby” was it’s use of these seemingly “background” characters as metaphors for the personalities and issues that haunted Robert Kennedy’s life – which made it a lot more interesting than simply having actors portraying their real-life counterparts.