Car buyin'

I bought a new car yesterday (wheeeeeee!!!!), a Honda Fit, which is a slightly smaller version of a Toyota Matrix. Due to seats that literally fold inside-out this thing has a HUGE amount of interior space (eg I can fit 2 adult bicycles behind the front seats and still have room for stuff in the back). It’s no candidate for the Grand Prix, but it handles nicely and is REALLY good on gas. (sidebar: if we’re to be more enviro-conscious, which I am, why are hybrids so prohibitively expensive???)

At any rate my point is that in the 6 years since I’ve purchased a new car, a period during which consumers have become more educated as to the inner workings of the auto retail industry and it’s elaborate if not sometimes deceptive pricing tactics, why do car dealers STILL not get it?

As I always do I researched the Fit and it’s various trim lines and retail pricing in advance. I knew I wanted it, all I had to do was test drive it and do the paperwork. However, as I always do, I went in and played dumb so that the salesperson would have to do his/her job. Hey, if I’m handing over that much money someone’s gonna have to work for it.

When I showed up at the dealership the “wheel of salespeople” dealt me a younger guy we’ll call X, an affable sort with too much energy and the ability to talk out of both sides of his mouth while appearing to speak from the middle. X was old-school in a younger incarnation. He enthusiastically showed me the car inside and out (which I appreciated), took me out for a test drive (which is why I was there) and then started in with the numbers mind game (which I despise).

I’ll spare you the details but here are the highlights;

Him Trade in?
Me Yes?
Him WOW, I wish MY car was this clean, how much do you want for it?
Me Make me an offer.
Him (suddenly cautious) Oooo, lots of miles, and some dents and scrapes, gonna cost us a lot to fix it up and re-sell it
Me (thought balloon: “I don’t really give a f**k”, do you want it or not”)
Me (silence)
Him Let me see what we can do for you (disappears)

The disappearing act is the car salespersons greatest weapon, because it interrupts the buyers momentum and causes them to think up defense strategies for situations that don’t yet exist ie it creates confusion in the buyers mind.

The trade-in was actually what I expected I’d get, and the price (with the generous Honda fuel-efficiency cash-back incentive) was better than I thought, but who am I to leave a good thing be.

Me That looks good, can you throw in some accessories?

Him (slightly indignant) You know, with this cash-back incentive on a car that’s priced this low to begin with, when people ask us to throw in accessories we usually show them the door.

Me (thought balloon: guess what pal? With that single statement you’ve just guaranteed that I will never ever buy a car from you again)

Me (silence)

Him The dealership only makes a 900 dollar profit on these cars.

Me (silence)

Him What accessories do you want?

Me Just a hood deflector.

Him I’ll ask my Sales Manager (disappears)

Remember the “man behind the curtain” in the Wizard Of Oz? That’s the Sales
Manager.

Him (returning) Congratulations John, you’ve got yourself a deal. (quietly as an aside) They wanted you to split the cost of the hood deflector but I told them to take a hike.

My hero.

Then it was off to see the Office Manager. I’ve purchased enough cars to know
that her job was to sell me extras that I don’t need. She enthusiastically offered
me a anti-corrosion package ($1,300) and an extended warranty ($1,200). I
declined and we were no longer friends.

I’ve gone on at length but here’s how this 2 hour process SHOULD have gone;

Me I want the car

Him Here’s how much, and we’ll give you this much for your trade-in

Me Sounds good

Him Do you want corrosion protection or an extended warranty?

Me No, thanks. Here’s a cheque.

Him Sign here, congratulations, here’s your new car.

Me Thanks.

In the end I got what I wanted, a new car at a great price, and a little value-added. But did it have to be so painful, doctor?